Former CEO of Alameda, Caroline Ellison's diary exposed: FTX collapse feels like a weight lifted off, feels relieved.

The New York Times accessed Google documents from Caroline Ellison, former CEO of Alameda Research, through sources familiar with the matter. The documents contain many of her feelings and thoughts, revealing that she seemed to be tormented during events such as taking over as CEO and breaking up with SBF, to the point where she felt relieved when FTX closed down.

Additional report: Prosecutors accuse SBF of deliberately leaking documents to The New York Times to tarnish Caroline's credibility as a witness

Caroline Ellison and SBF's Relationship

After graduating from Stanford University, Caroline joined the quantitative firm Jane Street where she met SBF.

SBF left Jane Street in 2017 to found Alameda and recruited Caroline.

In October 2021, SBF announced his focus on FTX operations and decided to step down as CEO of Alameda Research, appointing Sam Trabucco and Caroline Ellison as co-CEOs.

Subsequently, Sam Trabucco announced his resignation and transition to an advisor in August 2022, leaving Caroline to lead Alameda alone.

Disliking the CEO Role and Feeling Overwhelmed

In February 2022, Caroline wrote in a Google document:

I have been very unhappy with my work, feeling overwhelmed by it. At the end of the workday, I can't wait to go home, turn off my phone, have a drink, and get away from everything.

In another document, she mentioned feeling unsuitable to manage Alameda, as she was not good at making decisive decisions as a leader.

Caroline also found her relationship with SBF complicated, sometimes feeling insecure that SBF might not think highly of her:

When SBF is around, I unconsciously become more timid, quieter, and more submissive to others.

Losing Passion for Alameda after Breakup with SBF

In a document addressed to SBF in April 2022, Caroline expressed that breaking up with SBF significantly reduced her passion for Alameda. The intense overlap between her days at Alameda and her interactions with SBF caused her great distress.

During a period, Caroline intentionally avoided contact with SBF, stating:

Cutting off contact with you was the only way I felt I could regain power.

After the breakup, she seemed to grow tired of SBF's celebrity status, noting that staying at Alameda meant being around SBF and constantly receiving news of SBF's greatness.

FTX Collapse, Caroline: Feels Good

Prior to this, court documents mentioned that SBF had considered shutting down Alameda in September of last year and invested over $400 million in another trading firm, Modulo Capital.

Informants revealed that Caroline expressed discontent in her diary, feeling jealous of Modulo and feeling excluded.

During the FTX collapse, conversations between Caroline and SBF were recorded in court records. Caroline mentioned:

I've been increasingly fearful before this day arrived, which put a lot of pressure on me. Now that everything has happened, it feels great to end it all.

Earlier reports indicated that both FTX co-founder and CTO Gary Wang and Caroline Ellison have pleaded guilty, facing potential maximum sentences of 110 years and 50 years, respectively.

Former Chief Technology Officer Nishad Singh, although not formally charged, received a $543 million loan from Alameda Research.

All three executives have become tainted witnesses, and SBF's criminal trial is set to begin in October, with insiders indicating that the trial will primarily focus on Signal records of SBF and the other three executives.